It was cold, very cold, but as
my head was filled with the fear and anxiety of what was to come, I hardly
noticed. My mother, my three younger
siblings and I walked hand in hand to the train station. Father and James had been called up to serve
in the army and we had not laid eyes on them in several months, so they were
unable to wave us off from the platform, but mother promised she would not
leave until the train was out of sight. I knew she was only trying to keep us
safe from the terrible bombings that surrounded London, but the thought of
leaving her all alone in a place that was so fraught with danger made me want
to cling to her, force her to come with us or refuse to leave, but I knew I couldn't, I had to go, I had no choice.
At 14 I was the oldest in the
family, next was Adam he was 12 and looked very much like father, with his
short brown hair, high cheek bones and a smile that lit up his face. After Adam
was Suzy, at the age of 10, with blue eyes covered by glasses and a head of full
brown curls, she was still coming to terms with the fact that the magical
worlds and creatures I had created for her in countless bedtime stories may
exist only in fairy tales. This was a harsh cruelty every child must come to
terms with, but who knew that Suzy would find out about the reality of the
world so forcefully. Abby was the youngest and the liveliest on that cold
winters morning. At just aged 5 she was the only one of us that truly believed
we were going on a holiday and we would return home soon. She skipped along the
road, one hand in mine the other in Adams, her blonde hair blowing in the wind
and her blue eyes alive with excitement. I wished I was down there with her,
carefree and innocent, none the wiser of the separation that waited for us at
the end of our journey. Mother had made a request that we all stayed together
but there was a possibility that Suzy and James would be separated from Abby
and me. I tried not to think of this; the fear of being separated from my
siblings as well as mother was almost too much to bear. Mother had said that we
should write as soon as we arrived and got settled and she would even try to
come and visit if possible. Of course I knew the cheery disposition she put on
for us that day was hiding a breaking heart, as once again, like with father
and James, she would have to stand and watch her family glide away from her,
bound for an unknown destination, as she was left behind.
As we arrived at the train
station I saw Mother take a deep breath and started to check we had all we
needed. Suzy started to cry as mother gripped her in her arms using all her
strength and whispered to her that we would all be together soon. Abby was next
to be scooped up into mother’s arms, she gently touched mothers face as a tear
trickled down her cheek and it started to occur to her that mother was not
coming with us. The happiness had vanished from her face as her tiny feet hit
the ground next to Suzy who placed a comforting arm around her sister’s
shoulders. Adam stepped forward and allowed mother to hug him and place a
single kiss on his handsome cheek then he stepped back and I was left standing
alone. As I saw the over whelming sadness in my mother’s eyes I could no longer
hold back the tears I had been fighting against since our evacuation letter
arrived. Mother’s arms surrounded me and pulled me close to her chest, she told
me to be a big girl and to take care of my siblings and then suddenly the
whistle blew and we were ushered onto the train. I quickly found a compartment
for us and ripped the window open as my eyes searched for mother. Then I saw
her waving and smiling tears streaming down her face. The four of us leant out
the window waving until the train rounded the corner and she was gone. Now my
focus was on my family and suddenly as I looked around at the faces of the
children that had no one to take this journey with. I felt grateful I had Adam,
Suzy and Abby with me, as the train picked up speed taking us into the unknown.
***
I looked up from the notebook
that was lying in my hands, into the 4 sets of innocent eyes that were watching
me from the sofa, I smiled.
“So what happened next Grandma?” Emma called out from where she sat, with her
legs wrapped under her bottom and her elbow resting on the arm of the sofa.
“Well you’re just going to have to wait and find out, aren't you” I called back
shutting the book with a snap and smiling “time for bed”.
An eruption of groans echoed
around the walls of my daughter’s living room, as one by one my four
Grandchildren stood up and made their way over to where I sat. I gave them each
a hug and a kiss on the cheek and watched as they made their way towards the
stairs. I smiled to myself as I thought back to the day each of them were born,
and then I thought back to the day my son and daughter were born, it seemed so
long ago and yet like only yesterday.
I looked down at the notebook
in my hands and gently stroked the cover. It was all because I took that train
journey that I was sitting here right now. With reminiscences of a life lived
to its fullest, memories made with a man who loved me with all his heart, and
in turn held the key to my heart. I looked over to the picture on the wall, of
two young people smiling on their wedding day and let my mind drift back to the
day of the train journey home.
***
It had been exactly 3 years 11
months and 5 days since we had left London and now it was time for us to
return. My siblings and I had changed quite a bit since we left the war
infested streets of our home town. At 18 I had grown into a young woman and had
learned so much from living in Wales, I had truly fallen in love with the
countryside. My brothers and sister had all grown as well and when I think of
all the happy times we had spent together, I realised just how much I was going
to miss them.
As we reached the train station
we moved onto the platform and I turned to look at my family standing in front
of me, I was smiling but I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I asked
them all if they had everything and then one by one gave them all one final hug
goodbye. I wrapped my arms around Abby and pulled her in close, now 8 years old
she was getting taller every day but she still had her childish innocence that
I loved so much. Suzy was next, she was 13 now and growing into a wonderful
young women. Whenever I looked into her face, I felt like I was looking into a
mirror, she was growing more like me every day. She smiled at me as tears
started to run down her own cheeks and moved to stand beside Abby, leaving Adam
standing alone. I smiled at my little brother, although he wasn’t very little
anymore. At 15 he was becoming a fine young man, we were now the same height
and working on a farm for the past 2 years had helped build up his muscles. He
walked forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt my feet leave the
floor as he gave me the biggest, most heart warming of hugs, before placing me
back onto the platform, scooping Abby into his arms and gently pushing Suzy
towards the train. The tears were now falling thick and fast down my face, but I
was smiling, I knew they were going to be OK. As the train pulled away I waved
at my family until it was out of sight and I was left alone. Suddenly I felt
someone wrap their arms around me; I turned to look into my husband’s face and
smiled. He smiled back and placed his hands on my tummy to feel our baby gently
kick inside me, before leading me out of the station and back home.
